How much time will you wait for an answer?

How much time do you give the other to understand your question and reflect on it?

Children observe you and how you react.

When they ask you a question, they’ll come back to that question if they feel they have not been understood or if they haven’t received an answer to their question. The fact that they come back with the same question is there to tell you, that they don’t feel that you paid attention to their question. That they want you to see them.

They are curious about your answer and want to know what it is.

When they enter school this changes, they entered the world in which the one answer is said to be key.

It’s a world where questions are “what letter follows p?” or “what is the result of 2+2?”. It’s questions asking for the one answer. It’s not about sharing a thoughtful answer it is about knowing the answer.

Asking questions, teachers get used to receiving a reaction within 1 second. It doesn’t set the stage to wait for a thoughtful answer. The habit leads to immediately ask the next question when answers come in slow.

It leads to practicing answering speed.

Once questions start to change and become open questions, the habit stays the same.

If the answer doesn’t come in within one second, a next question is asked in the hope to lead the other to an answer. As if answers to the question would exist before the question was asked.

Waiting for three seconds changes the situation.

These three seconds allow for the question to sink in. They leave the time necessary for more thoughtful answers. They allow figuring out, which of the answers actually answers the question.