Who are you?
Everyone has his or her answer to this question. And quite often, the answer will depend on the context in which this question has been asked. Answers then may bring up where one comes from, what one does, what role one carries, what’s important to oneself, or simply one’s name.
But looking closely at the question “who are you?” none of the above answers truly can be called your answer.
The reason we are used to answering as described is simple. Most of us don’t have a clear answer or know who we are. Consequently, we identify with elements external to us.
A place where we can start to explore who we are is the story we tell ourselves. Every story contains principles; the story we tell ourselves thus guides us. Some of its principles are based on beliefs, guidelines we learned from those significant to us, perceptions we have, or experiences we made. Not all of which are useful, but as they are embedded in our story we apply them independently from how much we like them and value ourselves. Often, we are not even conscious of them.
Another option available to us is our personal philosophy. Just like the story we tell ourselves, it needs to be uncovered and can be shaped. And just like exploring our story, uncovering our personal philosophy is an approach to seeing our thought patterns. By making them accessible to us, we enable us to choose those patterns that we want to continue using and to develop those that feel more appropriate to us.
The more we explore and confront ourselves with a personal philosophy, the more we come to align our thoughts, words, and actions, making them true to us. In essence, it allows us to discover who we are. And as we do, we shape it, learn to talk our talk and walk our walk.
Whatever our personal philosophy, there is no right or wrong. It’s ours when it feels right to us. It is never fixed and serves us in our own way. Nobody else has to understand it or resonate with it. Nobody can tell you what it is; however, others can tell you what they see, and they can share how aligned this philosophy is with the person they know.
When doing this work, cut yourself some slack, don’t expect an immediate answer, give yourself some time, and experiment with it to sharpen your understanding. Be patient and persistent.
You’ll learn why you do what you do. And that, along the way, tells you who you are.
