One of the most common approaches is to seek to solve the problem that is being perceived as present in a given situation. The person will describe the situation and tell you everything wrong with it.

One of the most common reactions to such information is to look for the problem with the person presenting the issue.

There is a high probability, that both approaches will lead to a result and an idea of what needs to be changed. One can even assume, that both will have something valuable to contribute.

At the same time, this will often be the trap as only one part of the issue will be addressed. Quite often, it is not even the real problem and instead the most visible one. And it rarely will satisfy both partners in the conversation.

Instead of discussing two facets of the situation by having distinct conversations on the emotional aspects and the factual ones, they have been kept together, mixed, and seen as either-or contributors to the problem that is being discussed.