Whatever questions you’ll be asking, they will create attention.

You won’t have all the power to choose what type of attention you’ll be creating as that depends on how the other person perceives your questions. Do they feel reminded of the teacher they were scared of? Or of the parent trying to figure out if they’ve been up to something? Or of the mentor that helped them figure out an answer?

Figuring out how to ask your questions is like problem-solving. The problem you seek to solve is how to direct the other person’s attention and where you want to direct it to. Where can you meet the other person best to enable the dialogue you are looking for.

It starts by understanding whose problem it is and what the problem is you are trying to solve.

Once you’ve figured that you’ll know some valuable information on where you want to direct the attention to your question is creating.

If it is your problem you are trying to solve, make it clear that you are asking for help. If it is the other way around, make sure it’s clear that you are offering help. It gives context and in this also redirects the attention you are creating.

Another step then is to figure out if you are seeking information, an opinion, or creativity. Whatever it is, focusing the attention on the type of process you seek to trigger adds to the quality of the answer you can enable.

Moving on, the next detail to figure out, is if t is possible to enable a direct answer or if it needs several steps allowing to carve an answer out. That eases knowing how to frame attention.

This is a fairly simple process, most certainly one that needs to be adapted to the situation you are in. That’s what it enables.

And whatever your process is, most of it can’t be answered without involving the other person.