Outsourcing answers seems to be a consequence of associating leadership with having answers and allowing education to invite us in believing in the existence of right answers.
A vast industry has developed from there. Searching for “self-help books 2019” alone leads to more than 2,5 Billion results. This gives a good indication of the number of professionals involved in assisting others.
There is nothing wrong with seeking help from others. Asking for an outsiders view or having a sparring partner with whom ideas can be discussed is a great way to find better answers.
When specific knowledge and competencies are involved we even must outsource the process of finding answers. You wouldn’t want to deliver a diagnosis and suggest medicine if you aren’t a doctor who is active in that field.
But this still doesn’t mean that they have the right answer, one they can guarantee. What they have is expertise to deal with the situation and its uncertainties.
The same is valid for any suggestion we can find in the self-help area. There is no right answer for the big questions you are asking yourself.
It’s frustrating and freeing at the same time.
It means that we keep the task to find the answer which fits us best. It means that we have that responsibility.
We can find help, tools or methods to prioritize tasks, but where our priority lies is our decision. We might need assistance to name our values or principles, but we still are the ones who know best.
The help is there to determine relevant answers. Sensing and knowing which of them is the right one is solely our expertise.