When exchanging with someone else it helps to learn to see the world from their point of view.

The ability to see another point of view is independent of agreeing or disagreeing. It is there to find ways to understand what the other person means when he shares ideas, opinions or information.

And sometimes we need to help the other person to express what they mean in such a way that we can understand it. That is often the case when the other person isn’t very clear herself.

We gain clarity by understanding nuances in the wording we use or in the way we phrase something. We help the other understand the meaning by sharing how we understand the nuances we are using.

Take for example someone who shares “I want to be understood”. This sentence can describe the wish that the words she is using are understood by the other in the same way she understands them. But this sentence can also be about a deeper layer of being understood in the way she acts and is.

When seeking to see the nuances someone is using, the trick isn’t to find the right word to use, it is to be attentive to the relationship. That attention leads to wanting to understand as well as to be understood. Once this is part of the relationship, the effort to understand and be understood will become natural.

It’s bidirectional.