Most of us have grown up in a model of reward and punishment.

We are being told what we should do and are applauded when we do so. At school, we are promised good grades when providing asked-for solutions. The list is long.

To a certain extent, it might even be impossible to avoid it. Much of it emerges from our interpretation of events. It seems logical to need a cause explaining to us why someone else will be doing us a favor. It’s an explanation that leaves us with a sense of being in control.

Nevertheless, the model is flawed.

It makes us believe that we need external recognition. It makes us forget that our own validation of what we’ve done might be just as useful as the one others provide us with. It may be more pleasant to receive external recognition, but it doesn’t make what we’ve done right or wrong.