It’s a simple question: “can you change it?”

But simple rarely means easy.

Let’s go back to the starting point. Think of a desire a person has. It might be expressed as regret or hope. As it happens, there usually are obstacles on the way to fulfilling the desire.

In this situation, “I can’t change it” often becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with the obstacle. That’s where the question “can you change it?” comes in handy. It allows a thoughtful review of the situation. But also asks people to be honest with themselves.

If the answer is yes and still nothing happens, it’s worth putting the “can you change it” question aside and ask “do you want to change it?”

It isn’t always necessary to change. There are many circumstances in which we don’t need to change and are right not to change.

It’s not a reason to stick to the narrative of not being able to change it.