The whole and its parts

The whole & its parts

You did a great job

Hearing that one did a great job may not be easy.

Especially when the inner critic steps in and decides that the other person is not competent enough to evaluate the job. And if the person doesn’t add the warmth to it we’d like to have, it might be just as difficult to feel recognized as something was felt to be missing.

It is similar for appreciation, that is when the recognition isn’t about what we did, but about being appreciated and welcome as a person. Then the inner critic may step in and review one’s attitude or see the mixed emotional state and not be sure if one lives up to that appreciation.

People have many ways to reject recognition or appreciation. For many, that is a safer position, one that may have become habitual.

Which, then can be disappointing for the one offering the recognition, especially if it was heartfelt and adapted to that person’s experience.

Sharing appreciation, recognizing something well done can only be received easily if and when it meets the other person’s expectations.

Receiving appreciation and feeling recognized, benefits from taking the other person’s perspective. Independently from what one has given, it is the other person who is receiving something valuable to them. May it simply have been the other person’s presence or an idea that just popped up at the right moment.

Once this becomes visible things become easier. It can be taken in the moment and left there.

 

 

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