The more knowledgeable we become about the way people relate to one another the more difficult life can become.

It is already difficult to deal with difference, but when it is supplemented for example with racism, moralizing, or microaggressions it becomes a reason for vigilance. The possibility that racism, for example, appears in the relationship means that aggression is seen as possible if not probable. And the more we know about it, the more it is expected to happen.

Knowledge makes us more sensitive to the presence of potential threats and thus difference.

However, awareness doesn’t teach us how to deal with such difference.

Often it leads to only seeing it as a problem bothering us. One we have to get rid of. Which is when vigilance focuses on seeing threats and bad behavior. It then calls for rules and punishment. This is where the human desire for harmony and similarity delegates dealing with difference to an external authority. Or where the sense of injustice leads to trying to enforce these rules oneself. Both reactions make us subject to our perception of the situation.

It easily establishes barricades between people.

An available choice is to empower ourselves to explore the difference or to let it dissipate itself in tolerance. Both reactions allow us to integrate the other in our assessment of the situation and lets us take some distance from an immediate reaction.

It can give us a way to deal with our awareness.

If we want to, learning about our differences paves the road to similarities.