When starting a project there is one thing we don’t know. It’s how it will work.
Imagine starting a coaching. Usually, you don’t know the coachee. Is she engaged? How will she react to your work? How clear has your initial agreement been for both of you?
Think about a workshop you’ll participate in. You subscribed and now you enter the room. How much of it is as you expected it? How will you find your way to engage into it?
These questions appear even if you informed beforehand, did everything necessary to obtain an agreement and discuss modalities. They only prepared you to step into the experience. It’s only after starting that you’ll know how the experience feels.
It’s a period where adding verifications helps to stabilize the experience. What you are seeking to verify is the state of the relationship. That is if it will allow reaching the defined objective. There are two questions all those involved in the relationship need to be asked. Are you committed to it? Do you feel enough in control of the situation?
Asking about commitment allows verifying one’s engagement. It helps to see that we are responsible for our part of the work.
To a certain extent, we all fear to lose control. Enquiring if we feel enough in control of the situation helps assess that we aren’t alone in there and that control needs to be shared.
It’s not about controlling the other, it is about reaching a goal together.
That’s what verifying helps us to keep in mind.