When things matter, they are given importance.

A simplistic way to give importance to things that matter is to assume that importance is a validation.

When thoughts and emotions appear, a possible reaction is to take them as is without being curious about them. Instead of asking oneself how they contribute to the situation, or how the circumstances might have brought back old patterns, they are acted upon.

It becomes a selfish path.

One, where people see their thought or emotion as justified. Where they assume that as they are theirs, they can be expressed in any way they see fit and thus take precedence over anything else. Possibly even assuming that the situation or the other are causing them and expecting them to be adapted to what they desire.

That’s simplifying the situation and leaving one’s possibilities aside.

It’s forgetting that as humans we are subject to archaic reactions as well as our past experiences. These shape the way emotions and thoughts appear, they establish core beliefs, biases, and other distortions of the here and now.

Developing one’s power is based on gaining an understanding of these mechanisms. It’s not necessarily finding the answer to all the “why” questions that can pop up. It’s much more the ability to notice them and keep them visible to oneself.

Thoughts and emotions are not their interpretations, they are the data points leading to the interpretation.

Visibility of the data points opens up the window to seeing one’s own internal dynamic. That in turn provides the space for a choice.

Sometimes thoughts and emotions are what they signal. But not always.

Autonomy is seeing that choice.