He ends with the point that a sustainable amount of frustration around broken promises can be explained by a lack of t least one of them.
What happens there is, that there are two possibilities. One is, that what we said was not what we meant. The other is that it’s not what they thought we meant.
The path to get both right usually is filled with pain, fear, and confusion. Which is the reason why so many people deviate from the path.
The stories we tell ourselves make it hard, to be honest by pushing fear forward.
Touched through fear, vulnerability easily transforms into pain. A place from which empathy is even more energy-consuming.
Confusion is the natural path towards clarity. It is the transition from having no idea to clarity. And it’s a path on which we naturally encounter moments of fear and pain.
Getting to honesty, empathy, and clarity is the hard work to help them emerge. It’s work that understands that it’s not about thinking oneself through a complicated path towards a solution. It’s work that acknowledges the complexity of human nature.
That’s true when shaping a promise as Michael was pointing out. It’s just as true when it comes to teamwork.
It requires us to pay attention to the space we are establishing and need to keep safe to allow honesty, empathy, and clarity to emerge.