One of the things I regularly do to work on my coaching practice is to meet with peers. A few months ago, we changed our organization and decided to take a whole day and meet in presence every second month. We were fed up with virtual meetings and were aware that it had been too long for us since we had met physically.
And as things are, it means for me that when we meet I’ll usually have to drive almost 3 hours one way. We had been slow in connecting before our meeting and thus I felt somewhat annoyed. My thoughts ran along the line that I might not be able to benefit enough from it and wasn’t setting my priorities right.
Seeing these thoughts appear I took a step back, and looked at previous meetings and how rich they had become for all of us. I also thought again about the questions and work I wanted to share with the others, to reimagine how it would help me and be welcomed by the others. While driving I also pushed myself to remember that I was on my way and that it made no sense to waste the day doubting its benefits.
It all allowed me to decide that I could contribute to making a good day by deciding to be engaged. I had a plan for the day and knew what I wanted. I had given myself more clarity and thus transformed the circumstances under which I would be showing up.
Upon arriving, a colleague shared how his workload had made it very attractive for him to think about letting the day go. But he too decided against it. Actually, all of us had, to some extent, thought about letting the day go without participating.
At the end of the day, we would not have wanted to miss our connection, sharing, and learning.
It reminded me of how coachees can also find it hard to commit to sessions whenever the work becomes too daunting for them or too light.
Such meetings all lead to some sense of insecurity. The very act of reviewing our work with others and discussing the possibility that we need to change makes us feel vulnerable. They open a road into the unknown.
This can feel like an adventure and be very exciting. However, this doesn’t make the insecurity disappear. It helps to remember that nothing will happen if the sense of insecurity remains the dominant one.
Overcoming that sense is left to oneself. Nobody can do that for us.