Well, it’s probably not a change in itself.

There have always been relationships based on a sense of duty, obligation, or loyalty. Those relationships are driven by mutual expectations and are experienced as stable and maybe also rigid.

Relationships based on choice, options, or commitment will also have always existed. In those relationships, it is the expectations of self that drives the relationship. Here, the experience is of a loose relationship that may be more fluid and less predictable.

What is changing is their respective presence. There is a growing presence of the latter, with the former becoming less dominant than it was.

At first sight, the latter is welcomed by many. It seems that there is much less friction in such a relationship and more freedom.

The freedom bit may be true, but it comes with growing responsibility and loneliness as the self has to determine “all” the answers. Whereas in the past, the idea of obligation made it necessary to have a more intense dialogue, the loose relationship requires that individuals decide for it. A decision that is becoming less frequent as it seems to lead to friction or conflict, both of which require a commitment to the relationship and a willingness to deal with the messiness of life. And frictions belong to the messiness of life.