It has been a year of losses, stress, pain, and despair. Not for everyone. Not all the time.

It has been a year where we had to hold on to the familiar, to the predictable to avoid losing all of our orientation.

For many, leaning into some kind of work was salvatory. It allowed space for the familiar and the satisfying.

As we move towards 2021, many of the wishes I’ve seen point to it being a better year than this has been.

A part of this is the difficulty to deal with pain our culture has developed. Whenever pain appears, we try to wish it away, we try to persuade those in pain that they shouldn’t feel it, that better times will come.

As true as this might be, in that instant what exists is pain, is grief.

As curious as it might sound, the best we can do in such a moment is to stand by and be present with those in pain. There is no denying that it is there and needs its time to heal.

Hope is the confidence that we can take it and that we’ll be able to adapt. It doesn’t make the pain go away. It doesn’t prevent it from coming back.

But it doesn’t allow despair to take over.

It’s the seed that helps to stand up again and again.

It’s the learning that teaches us to see opportunities and to reframe our situation.

No need to push it.