As an individual, it is easy to concentrate on what it is that one wants. And it is important to be aware of it.

However, in a group, that perspective will rarely be helpful. A group is not there to serve one’s needs or desires, but it can be a place where they are fulfilled.

Instead of focusing on one’s wants in a group, it helps to pay attention to what it is, that one wants to give, or how one can and wants to contribute to the group.

It is what will help the group achieve its objective. It is for that objective that one joined the group. It is what one wants from the group.

The ability to find an answer to what it is, that what one wants to give a group doesn’t come by itself. It entails giving up thoughts on immediate reciprocity, finding a way to think about a return on investment on a broader scale, remembering that one is a member of a group by choice, and accepting that much of the outcome is a result of one’s actions.

Humility helps. But this isn’t about humility. It is about keeping what one wants in mind and seeing how it is present in the outcome.