Sometimes I remind others of an interesting metaphor. It says something like this: You may be able to lead a horse to the water, but despite whatever you’ve done, it’s still up to the horse to decide if it will drink or not.

I find it to be a powerful image.

People may listen to you, they may follow you to explore options with you, they may take the time to test ideas you’ve suggested, it all can happen.

But, in the end, it is how comfortable it is for them to try that water or how thirsty they are that will decide if they’ll drink it.

The idea of “comfort to try that water” links with how free they feel to make their own choice and experience it. It’s not a question of feeling at ease with the execution of that choice, to remove any anxiety, or to avoid any discomfort linked to it. It’s much more a question of being able to own that choice.

Being thirsty, on the other hand, only says that there exists some pressure to move forward and drink. It might be the result of having engaged oneself so much on the way to the waterhole that it is a no-brainer to move forward and “drink.” However, it is also possible that this thirst is the result of existing expectations and other influences leading to a sense of obligation.

The more thirst there is, the higher the probability that it is not possible to own the choice. That’s because the space to let reason or one’s emotional experience contribute to the choice reduces itself. To an extent, the choice may be the result of a survival instinct. Whenever this is the case, there is a risk that the individual find himself unable to protect himself from foul water.

That’s a responsibility that should only be taken wisely, as only those who drink the water can detect its consistency.