When trying to achieve a specific goal, the desire is to reach exactly that goal.
Not succeeding to achieve it, however, will then be regarded as having failed.
It’s a situation in which many tactics will be applied to avoid that sense of having failed. They can be to find all possible excuses as to why it didn’t work out. Another way may be to explain how the circumstances or others have to be blamed for the result. To dominate their will, others will either deny how they feel or what the result has been. Last, but not least, this may be an opportunity to unleash the inner critic.
The most challenging task in such a situation is, to be honest with oneself. That is, to see one’s contribution to the result realistically and to feel how we are affected by it. The real question, however, is what we did to make this a realistic and possible task.
It is normal that in some situations we’ll fail to achieve the result hoped for. In many cases, it’s because the result was out of reach in that moment and in the given situation.
It makes no sense to want the result and make having it the criteria for success. That’s when we are bound to fail. The simplest reason why being that it introduced fear.
What makes sense is to be committed to an attitude of doing what is necessary to trust our actions. It’s not about being foolish, it’s about knowing that we combine everything we’ve learned and practiced into that action. It’s trusting that we are doing exactly that and that it will make it possible for us to achieve what we aimed for.
At the same time, it means avoiding any sense of delusion based on the idea that things should have been different and should have given us the possibility to get what we want. At any given moment, we are who we are, have the practice and competence we have, and react to the given situation.
It’s being committed to doing our part of the task.
There is no right answer as to how to get this right every time. And it’s not the point.
It’s about finding a way to step into an attitude that enables us to be the best version of ourselves on that day and in that situation.