The whole and its parts

The whole & its parts

Avoiding the negative

There are two ways to do this.

One is to think for the other and do some mind-reading. It is a common approach when people seek to be strategic.

It is based on the assumption that by reviewing all the options it will be possible to find one that allows to include the other in the plan. This approach might be useful when it comes to negotiations between opposing parties. But whenever it appears in conversations serving to build a partnership it is an indicator that there is discomfort in the relationship. Mind reading then becomes the tactic to delay the discomfort. It will last until a trigger lets problems emerge just as if Pandora’s box had been opened.

Another way is to avoid the self-limiting mind reading and to create a space for no’s. Instead of assuming that the other one is going to say no, it is letting him say yes or maybe when one wouldn’t expect it. It does require to let go of the idea to have a perfect proposal. But it teaches us to see the other person’s perspective.

The idea that it is negative is nothing else than one of many interpretations of a no.



Share this post:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *