Expectations are a great way to make life miserable.

They shape the way people approach objectives as well as the journey toward them. They transform the way people react to others or situations.

This is especially true in a time in which grandiose and esoteric endeavors will easily be connected to the quest for one’s purpose. For many, it settles the assumption that that’s how to address life and life’s choices. Which easily leads to utopian types of goals.

The idea to play golf like Tiger Woods or tennis like Roger Federer may be easily dismissed. Much less so, when it comes to playing almost as well as the professionals. Or the idea to become a widely read author, where maybe not Ernest Hemingway but for example Henry Kissinger become their role models.

Stepping into such expectations some people find themselves introjecting the responsibility to achieve the goal. And as long as their goal remains unreachable, they experience themselves as painfully inadequate. Those who are not focused on their responsibility can choose to project the responsibility onto others or their history. In that case, they focus on having lacked support, talent, understanding or whatever else others should have provided to enable them. Or they opt for the injustice in the world that makes it impossible for them to achieve their goal now. Instead of questioning the goal as such, they settle for blame while experiencing themselves as victims.

When people are willing to see the project as one that is a journey allowing for many instances of learning, it might be easier to deal with the expectations they have set for themselves. However, whenever they start to become impatient and desire to arrive, things will become tense too. Perfectionism or endless working hours will emerge.

All of them have lost track of what expectations can be seen as adapted to their situation, competence, and engagement.

But, yes, some people who make one step after the other can find themselves achieving incredible things they never expected to be within reach for them. But then, they didn’t expect it.