That’s a perfect question for someone who sells ice cream. The choice is laid out in front of the customer and he can make his selection.

For anything else that goes beyond making a choice, it doesn’t work. Thinking about what I want is one dimensional. It doesn’t connect with others. It does give others a choice of saying yes or no to it. But that too is one dimensional, it stays within the given option.

A different approach is to look at the question “how do you want to contribute?” It includes the other. It makes oneself aware of the difference between what they want and what I want. It allows for appropriate recognition. It transforms what I want into what we want.

And yes, it does make decisions dependent on others.

Maybe that’s not too bad. We tell ourselves a story. It drives what we do. Maybe that’s enough of what I want.

With every action we do along the day we express a choice. It’s unavoidable that what we do is what we want.

It doesn’t matter that it may not always create the results we looked for. It was our action or inaction.