For many, it’s easy to beat themselves up anytime the result doesn’t correspond to what they expected or hoped for.

It may seem painful, but sticking to the blame makes it easy to avoid learning more about the pain. It’s reacting to the situation. The result is a choice to keep the situation as it is, to keep the known pain by trying to run away from it.

Sitting with the pain and exploring what happened is difficult. It’s deciding to be present to it. It requires leaving the easy answers aside, letting go of judgments, to becoming aware of what happened and how. It means accepting the uncertainty of not knowing instead of filling the gap. It means to wait until clarity settles in.

It asks to practice this process.

As understanding settles in, choices become accessible. That’s how decisions come about.