Not too long ago, I had an early morning flight and only had a short night. Driving to the airport, with the short night in mind, I imagined myself taking a nap on the plane. As I was taking my seat, my neighbor engaged in a conversation with me. I responded. As the conversation continued, I realized that I was giving up on my nap.

Over the last 25 years, I’ve invested quite a bit of time in a variety of non-profit organizations. It has been a mix of valuable, frustrating, engaging, satisfying, and superfluous experiences.  Some of the time spent in the last 10 years has been a quest to find the same pleasure and satisfaction I experienced during the first few years. During the last 12 months, some of these engagements ended. It made me think about the way I continued to invest my time even though some of it wasn’t landing. I also replaced one engagement by choosing to become a member of another entity in the same organization. This change made it very clear how varied culture can be within the same organization. Out of experience, this is just as true within professional settings.

These two examples might seem to be independent from one another. But I don’t think so.

All of these experiences are based on the presence of beliefs I have. Beliefs that include how I relate to authority, social pressure, or expectations I continue to carry. They also include how I react to expectations I can be confronted with.

I may think of myself as free to make the choices I want. The situations described reminded me of how much impact the situation I’m in has.

This isn’t to judge the choices I’ve made. It’s a reminder of how automatic, conscious, and unconscious choices can be. They happen all day long, making me the person I am today.

Not seeing the choice or letting go of a choice is a choice in itself.

To me, becoming aware of these choices gives us more freedom and more ability to be the person we choose to be.