Some love that place, others dislike it.

And yet, most people unconsciously assume they’ll reach that place.

Hoping for other people’s validation is the hope of becoming other people’s center of attention and being seen. Worrying about others and what they might think of us is similar, as validation remains at the center of one’s thinking. Worrying is there to fear the consequences of being seen.

People want to be seen. But they mainly want to be seen in the way they see themselves.

Seeking validation serves that objective. The experience we’ve had of being seen as desired impacts how much we worry about it.

What leaders have been able to develop is their ability to see themselves and reduce the gap to how they want to be seen. They don’t keep themselves at the center of their attention. They give themselves enough time to figure out how they want to be seen and if it is close enough to how they see themselves.

Their learning happens either in how they see themselves or through what they can do to reach how they see themselves.