In a recent coaching session, a client asked me if I knew of some tool or method that would allow keeping emotions out. He was hoping to find a way for people to sit down together and work on achieving results while keeping everything within the realm of facts and rational thinking.

I had to disappoint him.

What there can be, however, is people willing to focus on creating a result together.

When they choose that option there is the possibility that they understand that results come into existence based on the relationships, that is all the people contributing to the result.

It’s an understanding that gives the relationship its importance in the work.

It doesn’t give preference to one or the other. It focuses on the work when the relationship is working out and gives attention to the relationship when progress slows down.

It’s a process that requires quite a bit of attention from those involved. They have to realize when being rational doesn’t lead to expected results and discern the possible causes.

The usual culprit in such a situation is communication. That is the belief that the problem is due to a misunderstanding or missed information. Which might very well be the cause in any given situation. But it needs to be verified. Another common culprit is the process that hasn’t been designed for the given situation. And indeed, it often makes sense to verify if the process does what it is for.

Just as often, the situation might be where it is, because people missed paying attention to their own emotions or didn’t check in with others. Quite often asking others how they are experiencing a situation is a liberating question. That is if the team is willing to be vulnerable and share their experience instead of what they believe the others want to hear.

And if it is the latter, well it’s because emotions in the team are preventing information to flow. A, however mild, sense of unease is keeping people busy with their appreciation of the situation and preventing individuals from opening up.