It often is a good idea to think about a given situation with others. They’ll have a different perspective and will allow thinking events through where one might find oneself stuck doing so alone.

However, just as often, these conversations don’t seem to lead anywhere. This happens when the conversation stays one that is solely focused on the one talked about. It often ends up being a rant more than a moment of learning. That is partly due to the inability to have some input from that person instead of interpretations of the events.

To learn more about the situation and how it is relevant to oneself, the focus needs to be on the relationship between the person sharing her story and the person being talked about. How does the person sharing her story relate to the other? What is she expecting? What isn’t she getting? How does the relationship feel?

All these are details helping the person sharing her story discover how she actually relates to the other. It then becomes a conversation allowing to see what had been confusing and thus why there was a need to gain some clarity.

It does require more honesty and the willingness for self-reflection.