A colleague and I were discussing when she started to explain how little interest they had in continuing to live in their surroundings. People didn’t seem to share their interests, and the connection with others wasn’t what they had hoped for. They didn’t see themselves sharing a lot of values with those around them.

I could relate to her point of view, and yet it also seemed that I was understanding why that was happening. Listening to her, I kept noticing her talking in “should.” The ideas she shared were linked to how people should behave.

It resonated. The more I reflect on it, the more I can see how easy it has often been for me to find it hard to connect with others. How often, when meeting people, I found myself being put off by their behavior. Nothing terrible! Mainly things I hadn’t learned to address or react to. Sometimes, the way they would discuss a topic or not. Sometimes, the way they wouldn’t respond to calls or messages. Simple things, and yet things that didn’t seem to fit the way I’m seeing the world. In essence, neither my values nor the way I expect the world to be seemed to be met. Not astonishingly, it isn’t always as it should.

It’s funny to see how often, the world as it “should” be, isn’t there.

What’s less funny is realizing how often this perception is also the end of learning and is based on the absence of curiosity.