During the last few days, I’ve been attending a workshop with Richard Erskine. I’ve been attending it to learn to know him as well as to continue my learning of transactional analysis.

It was one of those training I booked a year in advance and was still a bit hesitant to attend. Upon arrival, I met an atmosphere of generosity, kindness, and care. The best way to get started and get involved in the learning.

But after seeing Richard work with participants I started to notice something in his posture and way to work I couldn’t describe. I just could see that it worked, that there was a connection and that the relationship always seemed to fit.

I had noticed his ability to stay focused on the purpose of our training and the individual work he engaged in. The knowledge he shared was impressive and I’ve still a lot to process from these four days. But beyond this, it felt as if his way to work was the clue.

Commenting on it before we parted, Richard told me that he sees his clients as his teachers.

This explained it all.

All the work he had done had been based on what he had been able to learn from the way the participant behaved, reacted and engaged. Through seeing it and through enquiring about it in many ways.

Sure it needs practice and expertise to see everything he saw, to react as he did.

But that’s “just” the practice.

The will and the ability to engage with the client in such a way that the work we do is adapted to the person in front of us is what makes it work.

The will and the ability to make errors and learn from them is what makes it generous and caring.

And that’s applicable wherever we want to apply it.