When Roger Federer first became aware of Rafael Nadal as a tennis player, he learned to know a young man with great potential. They became friends and Federer would support Nadal on his path.

But then, there was a day when Nadal won, and Federer lost.

Federer didn’t like it, wanted to keep his place, and didn’t want Nadal to be there. An emotional reaction. And one that made him think.

It had been logical that that day would come, but when it appeared he still had to deal with an unexpected experience and dissonance. It meant for him to go deep inside. He had to figure out how to accept both, experience them as compatible to keep on winning as well as care for his friendship with Nadal.

Leaders, like everyone else, regularly experience situations in which they have to deal with seemingly incompatible behaviors. Take for example the necessity to spread optimism and remain attentive to risks. Whenever they step into one of these two roles the presence of the other can lead to a sense of inauthenticity. Doubts on how to deal with both aspects arise.

There is no unique way to deal with such a situation. But it starts with the ability to recognize that such situations appear regularly and cause discomfort.

The work is to become comfortable with the discomfort.