Talking about sport, the person sitting next to me told me that she isn’t good at remembering exercises.

For a while, I tried to explore the question with her. I thought that she might discover a different perspective if she’d become aware of the way she had performed on that day. I also assumed that hearing from others and how they experienced their workout she might become curious about available possibilities. After hearing her share her initial statement multiple times, I let it go. It was a friendly conversation. It wasn’t a space to stick to giving ideas or to suggest some coaching.

But the exchange kept me thinking.

It resembles a situation one will often encounter on the first tee when everyone highlights why his game might not be as good as usual. The same will frequently occur in a professional setting when a person is seen shying away from a task while explaining that she is not good at it.

It’s a way of being that is focused on the output of one’s activity. It assumes that the task is to compare oneself to others and measure who is the best or better one in the group. Starting the conversation with “I’m not good at” is a way to excuse oneself, to submit to the experienced limitations. It’s also a way of keeping oneself in a state of hope and dreaming that trying often enough will dissolve the limitation.

A very different approach would be to consider the situation and accept that training once or twice a week is a good way to care for one’s fitness. It’s also an expression of dedication to the chosen workouts.

Considering such a position allows you to choose. One can stick to the workout, or one can decide to change one small thing that contributes to developing one’s fitness or learning.

When the latter is the choice, noticing what one isn’t good at can be an invitation to develop that ability. It’s how one may be able to dedicate oneself to the process instead of the output.