The idea that life should be as we want it, is a persistent idea of the mind.

It’s an idea that appears whenever we are confronted with a situation we have not yet figured out how to handle. Instead, resistance becomes the reaction of choice. The possibility to accept life as it is confronts us with difficult choices. The easier choice is to assume it should be as we want it and thus resist life as it presents itself in that moment.

It’s the desire to feel in control rather than out of control.

Paradoxically, our resistance to accepting life as it is makes it hard for us to recognize what is within our control and thus what we can change.

Confronted with the uncertainty of prioritizing the choice providing us with the best outcome possible and with the unknown consequences of the options available, the discomfort of resistance may seem the better choice. At least it is a sense we know and are used to. But it also is a reminder that our time is limited, inviting the sense of feeling out of control anytime a choice is needed. This discomfort doesn’t end with making a choice, as once it is made, there still is the discomfort of putting it into action, figuring out how it can work, and accepting that it might not lead to the desired result.

Sometimes it helps to realize that resisting life as it is doesn’t change anything.

Sometimes it helps to realize that letting go of resistance frees energy to see things as they are. Allowing that energy to focus on what is gives more visibility to what is within our control, and thus awareness of the next steps available.

Simply put, we become able to act when it is possible to act.