Choices come in pairs. Taking up one option means that others fall away. Emotions also appear in pairs. The joy of having one thing comes with the sadness of not having the other.

Being positive thus means the ability to have dealt with the negative aspects of a situation.

There are two ways to do so.

One is to see all the available aspects of a situation and make a choice that involves accepting that it won’t allow for everything to be positive or perfect. It’s making a choice that feels right for oneself.

The other is to deny whatever might be negative and solely focus on whatever is positive. The latter happens, when the former is not accessible. When seeing how denial serves as a protection, it allows searching for what is accessible in that moment. It gives a better chance to meet the other where he is.