The way we talk to ourselves determines the outcome.

It’s a choice we’ve made, albeit an unconscious one.

Noticing that it is a choice establishes that we can change how we engage with ourselves.

Becoming curious about repetitive outcomes is a way to become aware of what we tell ourselves.

There are the repetitive outcomes we like, and those we don’t like.

Hearing myself say “It’s just for me” regularly aligns with outcomes I don’t like.

It might build on a reasoning that paying attention to external validation is more relevant. For example, if external validation contributes to a sense of being socially appreciated becoming one that confirms our belonging.

The drawback is that just-for-me-projects may not get the attention they deserve. In essence, it concerns projects for which one is the best judge and most competent in developing why one does them as one does. That is all the projects that clarify one’s position and contribute to our being aware of what being authentic means to us.

Whenever “just for me” is a placeholder for “I don’t want to be selfish” it’s worth reconsidering what selfish means to you.

The ability to know where you stand and whatever it is that authentic means to you provides you with the most important information you need to be of service to others. It enables you and others to recognize how and when the support you provide will be useful to them and something you’ll do well. It aligns with enjoying what you do.

Getting there may take time. Especially if the outcome is a measure of success left to external validation that makes you deaf to your own voice.