Well, not always.

However, it’s how it can be understood.

Subtleties in the way we express ourselves are ours to understand. They result from our history, our experience, and the way most convenient for us to express ourselves. Some like to talk in images, others will prefer a sensory type of expression, and others will want to stay with facts or opinions.

How we say things seems to be so natural that we’ll focus on the content.

It’s so natural, that people may not even realize that it is possible to have other ways to express the exact same thing.

It can contribute to making conversations confusing or more complicated to assess as they are meant. It can make it difficult to hear what the other person meant.

That’s when shortcuts appear in conversations. What we’ve said suddenly becomes personal to the other. Or the other way round. Instead of assuming a misunderstanding and exploring it, the shortcut leads to a conclusion that what has been said is about oneself as a person.

Sometimes it’s nice. Sometimes it isn’t.

While it’s nice to hear that one’s work pleased, it doesn’t mean that we’ve been acknowledged as a person. That is also true when receiving feedback that one’s work didn’t please, such feedback doesn’t evaluate the person.

And yet, people mix it up. When giving feedback. When receiving feedback.