As Steve Jobs explains, the hard thing about change is, that whatever people question in that process will be right in some area.

It is one of the bigger challenges with polarized discussions. Whoever is involved will share ideas that are right in some area. Ideas that make it hard to argue against. Ideas that will bring out doubt. Ideas that will invite one to change one’s position.

Whenever a discussion takes a turn into finding the detail that isn’t covered well by change, the only thing that may still help is to stop arguing and start listening. Once the point has been understood, it needs to be measured against the overall idea of the planned change. Some of these points may already have been thought about, others will be new.

Once the point has been located, the question becomes if it has been forgotten, is included, or if it is an acceptable casualty.

Seeing what is being shared as an insult, is taking another person’s disappointment and anger personally. It is missing the point, that the message the person is sharing is so important to them, that they’ll do what they can to create a reaction. It is an effort to enable an interaction either to be persuaded or to stop the change from occurring.

It rarely is about the detail itself. It is about how others or events make them feel.

Sometimes, it isn’t possible to do anything about it.

It doesn’t make it right to insult someone though, neither with the insult itself nor by discarding the person’s feelings.