Sometimes I see clients in a conversation who avoid sharing their ideas or opinions. They are anxious about the impact they could have.

For some, it is the idea that they could take something away from the other. For others, it is as if they could impose something on the other.

The implicit assumption is that what they say directly impacts the other and as if the other person’s will could be substituted by their will.

One person’s suggestion might influence the choices others make. But it is overestimating one’s influence to assume that its impact changed someone else’s will.

Believing in such an impact on the other hand is frequent. It leads to behaviors that use power over others or give power to others. It’s a behavior that describes the relationship that exists between them.

Letting it happen or resisting is governed by the same behavior.

Noticing one’s own choice is what changes the relationship and thus the behavior.