A lot has been written about prioritization, suggesting that it is necessary to be successful. A story attributed to Warren Buffet describes how after making a list of 25 priorities, one should cross out 20 of them to focus on the 5 that truly matter. While that story seems to be false, Warren Buffet nevertheless suggests that all the really successful people he has met say no to almost everything.

Derek Sivers, who established minimalism for himself as a lifestyle, suggested that only the things he’d say “Hell yeah” to deserve to be followed. Anything else, then being something he’ll say no to.

But that might only apply to projects one takes up. To those things that invite engagement and that one decides to dedicate noticeable time to. Typically, these projects are decided upon after reflecting on them.

Something different seems to happen with seemingly small everyday decisions. Those that don’t seem to have a lot of urgency, and that somehow appear tedious and don’t offer a lot of reward.

It’s all the things that are pushed away with an “I’ll do this when” and become the details that fill long-term to do-lists. Most of them concern habits that could be changed one day. Pay attention to how the sentence that comes after “I’ll do this when” usually describes a detail that is missing or not perfect. It “prevents” acting in the moment.

It’s hope. It’s dreaming.

It’s avoidance. It’s anxiety.

It’s a lack of respect for oneself. It’s giving up authority to others.

It’s a habit that built itself gradually. It emerges from the many times one tried to please others and avoided saying no. It’s based on the desire for recognition that led to choosing one’s activities based on the appreciation one received from others. It became how one treats oneself. Often with the result of losing track of what is truly important for oneself and one’s ability to contribute. It’s forgetting that others are as important as oneself. Instead, they are made more or, sometimes, less important than oneself.