Observing how people treat themselves while playing golf allows us to learn quite a bit about how they deal with the situation as well as themselves.

Before playing their first shot, some people will share how something is itching, how they assume you to be a great player, or how they have been disturbed by other events.

It’s a way to calm down, transform expectations, and deal with their anxiety to perform as well as they would like to. Golf is a game during which all the partners on the flight will have a view of one’s performance. Everyone also has an idea of each other’s playing level as indicated through the handicap system, it contributes to some people feeling obliged to play at least as well as the others on the flight. But golf being golf, they prepare to play less well by indicating all the details that might be in their way to perform well.

As the game progresses, a lot of players will start to talk. While it is natural to have a bit of an exchange during the game, there are also moments of respectful silence to let players concentrate on their shot. Dealing with the mix of silence, exchange, and appreciation of the game as it unfolds is confusing for some. That seems to be especially true for some when they are not satisfied with their game. At times, you’ll hear them shout at themselves, encourage themselves to play better than until then, tell themselves how badly they are playing, or tell themselves to stop playing like they are doing.

As an outsider, one can let oneself be impressed by what seems to be a negative way to talk to oneself. But one can also develop compassion for the way they treat themselves. Interfering with their dialogue is less useful, as they may have learned to indeed play better with such self-talk. What such self-talk does for them is distract them from how they are feeling in the here and now. As they self-criticize, they give themselves a different reason for feeling bad than their game.