A potential client called me up telling me that he needed to enhance his leadership skills.

Asking him how I could help him he started explaining how his employee was behaving.

Asking him what he wanted to work on he patiently shared a second incident with this employee.

That’s how the desire for change often starts in coaching. Something isn’t happening as expected, someone isn’t acting as asked and the leader wants to get a grip on the situation.

However, it rarely is where change starts. Change starts with the things that are within our control. Leadership work entails learning what it is that is within our control that will transform the situation and invite others to follow.

Coaching requires the willingness to investigate what it is that is within our control and to let go of trying to change others and what it is that isn’t within our control.

It’s a basic truth. But when the lens used to observe the situation doesn’t allow to move the focus away from the problems other people seem to create, that basic truth isn’t easily accessible anymore.