A lot has been learned and understood about how teams want to work together and what type of leadership they may expect.

A simple conclusion of this learning is that every team wants something else, that no project is exactly like the other, and that leaders all have their style.

There naturally also are a few commonalities. Human beings come together to achieve a task. Whatever the task is, those involved have a reason to join the group and contribute to it. The way the individuals behave is the consequence of their individual experience and of being a member of the given group. People influence one another and choose to react to that influence depending on their experience.

It leads to a situation in which individuals find themselves confronted with the desire to work together smoothly as well as to have their needs met. It establishes a tension between individual perceptions and the necessities of the work the group wants to get done.

Efforts made to focus on rational behavior invite unconscious behavior to the table, as an invisible guest. Whatever happens, individuals will experience emotions, have thoughts, and behave accordingly. It cannot be avoided, nor can it be controlled.

What can be changed is how they relate to these emotions and thoughts. That includes how they relate to emotions and thoughts they don’t like, expect themselves to have, enjoy having, or want to avoid.

In seeking to have a specific experience, they are subject to their experience and identify with any thought or emotion that passes by. It adds to the discomfort of always comparing oneself with how one wants to be seen or to be. That is with an idea of how life could be comfortable.

It prevents becoming comfortable with discomfort.