Words have a variety of meanings. While subtle, they may shift the way one thinks.  Such meaning can differ for example on a type, experience, or cultural level.

Take the word “decide,” did you read it as an action or a result? Were you thinking about the path you need to use to come to a decision, or about the decision itself that you might be asked to share?

How one experiences the process of deciding and sharing a decision may differ and be similar. The process of discovering what one wants, what it implies that one needs to know, and of dealing with that information usually is a phase where confusion, hesitation, comparing, and considering the different options will alternate. It’s a phase one can find troubling, humbling, and simply difficult. Sharing the decision can lead to similar experiences as the reactions we’ll find ourselves confronted with may confuse us, invite us to hesitate again, and show us how others compare the options. Both parts of the process, coming to a decision and discussing the decision, are part of an emotional as well as rational process toward inner clarity.

How people decide is very much a question of one’s culture. Consider, for example, how Scandinavian countries often prefer to put the question or idea that requires a decision into the open. The invitation to the group there is that everyone steps in and contributes. Other cultures will seek to come to a quick decision they’ll reevaluate whenever unexpected or relevant circumstances make it necessary.

Knowing all such differences is nearly impossible.

What is possible though, is to become attentive to the unexpected and surprising. Instead of dismissing one’s assumptions of having misunderstood a reaction or dismissing it as a temporary emotional reaction, a better alternative might be to check in and become curious.