It’s normal, that there are obstacles to achieve one’s goal. Some are barely noticeable while others seem to be impossible to overcome.

Sometimes it’s the situation that seems to be against us, sometimes it’s people who don’t react as expected or hoped for.

It’s often where confusion sets in.

If it feels like a rejection, then the confusion is to have made it personal. It’s overestimating our importance. It’s assuming that others concentrated their efforts on us and have the intention to be an obstacle. It’s expecting that others have to remove obstacles for us.

If it seems that the other has to change, then there is a misunderstanding on how the goal can be reached or on what effort is necessary to reach it. It’s neither what we want nor the other person who need to change. It’s how we get it.

It’s up to us to do the work necessary that lets us see the other well enough to understand what we can contribute to invite them to change their behavior. That’s far from changing the other, it’s connecting with the other. It’s engaging in a dance with the other.