Options are the external aspects of choice. They are what is visible to a choice we can make. Choosing is the act of selecting an option and deciding on it. It is engaging in the choice we’ve made.

One of the reasons people will find themselves stuck is that they either don’t see the full set of options available to them or don’t see that they have a choice they can make.

It often results from the fact that the option they would be looking for has either been taken away or doesn’t seem accessible. By focusing on the option that is not available, they engage in a sense of having lost control and find themselves to be helpless.

While it can be hard to lose the option one dreamed of or frustrating to only have restricted options, it doesn’t mean that we’ve lost our ability to choose.

The core ability to choose corresponds to having a free will. It never goes away. But we can forget about it or give it away. By surrendering our ability to choose, we let something, or others make choices for us.

It’s as easy as forgetting that the weather has no reason to decide whether we go outside or not. But it’s as complicated as exploring the options one had previously rejected and grieving the one one had been working towards.

Having a free will doesn’t mean being able to do everything we want.

The reality that there are things beyond our control is independent of our ability to choose. But reality has an impact on the choice we can make.