Sometimes my father would describe the process between himself and my mother by explaining how they would do what he wanted when they shared opinions and would do what she wanted when they had different views on the topic.

One can read his description in two different ways. The tolerant one is that he knew when to let go. It wasn’t that relevant for him that she would do exactly what he wanted, what was important to him was how both of them would get along.

Another way to read his description is how my mother could sometimes be so determined to get what she wanted that he didn’t see any way nor worth in contradicting her.

Partnership isn’t about always agreeing, it is about caring for the relationship and having a common project.

It’s the same with leadership. The context is different, but the way the alliance is built is the same. Some find ways to attune with one another, others can only achieve it using power play.