A possibility to deal with goals is to experience them as something one has to achieve once it is set.

It allows experiencing a tension between getting there and the fear of not achieving it. For some, this is a way to achieve their goal. Whatever fear they associate with the inability to reach the goal, moves them forward and creates the incentive to get there. The drawback is the intense sense of failure when things don’t come together as hoped for.

It is achieving a goal based on obligations and fear. Passion moved into the background once the goal is set.

It is a function of the performance and achievement culture we live in. Onlookers will feel with the one who failed, deplore that it didn’t work out, and try to reassure or encourage the person. It’s focusing on failure and creates an attachment to the outcome.

Goals can have a different function.

They can serve as an orientation, helping to see the chosen direction and creating a focus. They are a choice among the many ways to become better and help to see change. They help assess how far apart one’s perception of the doable and one’s expectations of self are. Which helps to become better at goal setting and assessment of the doable. They give an insight as to what may still be missing to be able to reach the set goal, thus helping to see the next thing to be learned.

It is allowing oneself to explore one’s possibilities and to let go of an attachment to the outcome.

Reaching the outcome then becomes a source of satisfaction, may it be by achieving the goal or figuring out how to get there.