In coaching sessions, a client may sometimes share a lack of self-confidence. When they do so, they are somehow asking me to develop their self-confidence. But that’s not possible.

Whatever happens for them to grow their self-confidence is based on their actions.

However, that doesn’t mean that a coach can’t help.

By creating an environment in which a client finds himself safe enough to address issues they hesitate to talk about or even hesitate to notice, they can learn to see that they are being trusted and even more, that they trusted themselves.

Self-confidence is the result of having developed the ability to trust oneself in a specific domain. It might build on clients having found enough people trusting them to succeed with tasks they were not comfortable with.

But sometimes, the lack of self-confidence may be the consequence of failing to notice when they succeeded and what they did to become able to trust themselves.

Sometimes it is having courage, sometimes it is gathering as much information as needed, sometimes it is preparing themselves thoroughly, and sometimes it is making themselves aware of what it is they can prepare and what it is they can’t prepare.

Even more important might be to remember that the outcome is independent of trusting yourself. Whatever the outcome, it is a reminder of what trusting yourself helped you achieve and learn.