A frequently heard question is “How do I get those people to …?”

It seems natural to build on one’s capacity to achieve a goal and then use that understanding of how it works to help others gain the same ability.

It seems to be a good approach to achieve an objective by ensuring that those involved do what one has imagined they should do.

But to “get someone to” is nothing else than the desire to control others and use that control to achieve a result.

Such control may not even be noticed. It appears in subtle ways, for example through people having the ability to define the other person’s reality. That is someone whose decisions can transform what is available, what is well done and what not, or for example what kind of solution is chosen.

It is control, nevertheless. One that slowly but surely integrates the group’s culture and teaches others how to manipulate circumstances consciously or unconsciously.

It is how people avoid sharing the truth of the situation.

Instead of saying what needs to happen, people seek to find ways to make it happen.