Most of the time, it’s what is assumed, rarely what is understood.

Take for example a feedback conversation. It sounds fairly easy, that the feedback we are sharing with others is for their benefice. But, what benefice? And why that feedback then?

People will easily settle with the broad idea of what their action is for. Taking the feedback example, it is there to help the other. While this sounds kind and generous, it isn’t specific enough. It misses out on how that feedback will help the other to achieve his goal. It also avoids describing why that feedback is important to the person sharing the feedback.

The lack of clarity allows for confusion.

Being more specific requires reflection.

It involves understanding and defining what the action is for. When it involves others it also means to reflect on the respective benefits.

The less we reflect, the more things are done out of habit. It becomes a continuation of previous goals, a social convention, and slowly loses its initial purpose and intention. As they fade away, the clarity of what was once understood fades away.

It makes it hard to share one’s goal. And it makes it hard for others to understand that goal.

A resulting habit might be to even forget to name one’s goal when it is clear. As if the other should automatically be able to know it.

That too establishes a state of confusion. One that often is rarely questioned. As if one should automatically know or trust the good intentions.