Some common excuses which seem to be universally accepted:
“I have no time”
“I have no imagination”
“I’m not creative”
“I’m not responsible” as well as “It’s my responsibility”
“It’s the way it is”
“Everything is alright”
What they all have in common is, that they are stories we tell ourselves to avoid something. Quite a few of them are there to avoid conflict. Others are there to avoid failure.
If we would start to think about what the excuses actually mean to us, we would discover the reason we are using such excuses.
All of them are acceptable and even asked for in our culture. Using them has shown to stop further discussions or questions.
Someone who has no time can be seen as someone working hard and seeking to enhance his performance. It makes it easy to stay away from an event one doesn’t want to attend.
Someone who praises that everything is alright is seen as someone who is positive and can handle himself. It doesn’t matter if she is avoiding transparency.
Lack of creativity or imagination is perceived as something that comes with being an adult. As if only geniuses and children would be creative and imaginative.
Taking or avoiding responsibility is a good way to show how well one knows one’s responsibilities. At the same time, it helps to avoid thinking about the existing problem and how it could be solved.
Now, this is no reason to move on and hunt all these excuses and change them into something different. This is not the point. Sometimes these excuses are real and true. We can only know if we see the posture that comes along with these sentences. Most of us are excellent communicators and can sense when the posture is aligned with what is being said.
In all the other cases it is worth it to check in with yourself and look for your truth.
If you haven’t trained your imagination or creativity for a while, consider if you need to define yourself through “not being”.
If it feels as if you are short on time, maybe it’s a good idea to appreciate your use of time. You might find that it’s fulfilling to stick to the priorities you’ve defined for yourself.
If it seems as if “it’s the way it is” ask someone else how they would change it. As an alternative check in with yourself to see why you like it the way it is.
Remain aware of your decisions. Make them yours.
